The Week Before

This time next week, we'll be halfway through Llangollen Fringe.

That's a slightly terrifying sentence to write.

For months it's been meetings, messages, emails, ideas, programme planning, chasing people, finding people, losing people, finding someone else, filling gaps, changing plans, solving problems and occasionally wondering what the hell I'm doing.

And now it's here.

Almost.

There's something strange about the week before something you've spent so long planning. For ages September has just been a date in the diary. Something we're working towards. Something that's coming.

Suddenly, it's next week.

I've been so busy doing everything that comes with the Fringe that I don't think I've really stopped to think about what it means to me.

I'm not just turning up to an event. I'm now a Director of Llangollen Fringe, as well as curating the spoken word and literature side of it.

Even writing that feels a little surreal.

Sometimes I think we don't notice our lives changing because we're too busy living them.

A few years ago, I couldn't have imagined myself doing half of what I do now. Actually, some days I still can't quite believe I'm doing it.

But perhaps that's the thing.

You don't suddenly wake up one morning feeling completely ready and qualified for whatever comes next. Sometimes you just keep saying yes. You learn. You make mistakes. You ask questions. You panic a bit. You send another email. You change another plan.

And somehow, somewhere amongst all of that, you grow.

I'm excited.

I'm nervous.

I'm probably going to spend the next few days remembering another seventeen things I've forgotten.

But mostly, I'm looking forward to seeing it all come to life.

The people. The words. The performances. The conversations. The unexpected moments that you could never put into a programme or plan in a meeting.

Because that's the bit I love.

Creating spaces where people come together.

And perhaps when it's all over, I'll finally stop long enough to realise just how far I've come.

For now though...

I've got a Fringe to help run.